Digital Meanderings

Received a new spam message in my mail this morning. Now, thanks to Google Enterprise and G-Apps, I very rarely actually see spam messages in my inbox, but this one got though and made me chuckle, so I thought I’d post it here (after finally getting my blog ressurected again!)

The Mail Goes as follows :

Mrs. Aisatou Mohammed
Tel : 0022566343706

Dearest One,

I would be happy if you read my mail. [Interesting, What else am I supposed to do with it?] I am Mrs.Aisatou Mohammed; my late husband used to worked with Chevron/Texaco  Cote D’Ivoire for twenty years before he died in 2005. [Very nice to meet you, sorry to hear of your loss] We were married for twenty-seven years with only a Son. He was held hostage and slain to death  by protesting youths of the region in Abidjan the capital of Ivory Coast. Since his death I decided not to re-marry. [Sorry - Back up a bit, is there another way you can be slain apart from to death?]

My late husband packed into a BOX  US$7.5 Million and deposited  with a security company here as containing FAMILY VALUABLES. [I'm sure he did. In today's economic market, things are safer in a BOX rather than a bank or savings fund] This money is still in the BOX with the security company here as the management just wrote me as the beneficiary to come forward to retrieve the box or rather issue a letter of authorization to somebody to receive it on my behalf if I can not come over due to my health situation. [Oh Dear, so you need me - a complete stranger, to go collect the money for you? Sure!]

Presently, I’m  in a hospital  where I have been undergoing treatment for cancer of the breast. [Cancer of the breast eh? Is that anything like Breast Cancer?] I have since lost my ability to talk and hear well and my doctors have told me that I have only a few months to live. [Ahh yes, not being able to talk or hear out of your breasts must be a real pain] It is my last wish to see that this money is invested and at the end of every year distributed among charity organization and orphanage home. I want a God fearing that will use this money to fund  orphanages and widows propagating the word of God and to ensure that the house of God is maintained. [Sorry - a God fearing what exactly? you don't mention. Also, I'm agnostic - does that count?] I took this decision because I know that there are a lot of poor people suffering from different kind of disease and nobody to come to their aid. [I'm sure that if you forwarded this email to the Red Cross or Unicef, that they would be able to find a home for the money]

I also took this decision because I don’t have any child that will inherit this money and I don’t Want my husband’s Hard-earned money to be misused. [Misused? Oh, you mean 'Spent'?] I want somebody that will use this fund for the service of God and humanity.. [Have you thought of contacting Pope Benedict?] If you can honestly do this which I request, I will be glad to hand you over the money through our lawyer, which I have already given him an instruction regarding the fund releasing. [So, what do I get for ensuring your $7.5 million is given to orphanages and charities around the world?]

I hope to hear from you.
Remain Blessed,
Mrs.Aisatou Mohammed

[I'm sorry - but you will not be hearing from me.... and I'm pretty sure I've never been 'blessed']